Just What I Need ... Maybe

Being the chronologically-, vertically-, horizontally-, visually- and follicularly-challenged chap that I am, who prefers nothing more than staying at home reading a maths book or doing a crossword, I think I've found the perfect gadget for the holiday season .... a virtual partner.

Mind you, I'm just a tad confused ... the photo seems to imply there are male and female versions, but the title only says "boyfriend".

Then we have the helpful instructions "select a boy for your first date, and try to keep her happy by complementing him."

Perhaps this thing is only for hermaphrodites.

Oh well, I don't really care, so long as the damned thing doesn't want me to take it dancing or to some girlie flick!